It hurts to love you.

janice: today, we're going to make a card for (team member)'s birthday.
cute boy: i don't want to.
janice: why? don't you like receiving cards on your birthday?
cute boy: (grunts and draws a birthday cake with minimal effort)
janice: GREAT! ........
           okay, it's time to finish up. before you leave, i have something to give you.
cute boy: (eyes twinkle at the oreo biscuit)
janice: you can have it after lunch.
cute boy: (receives it, then chucks it to another boy in the class)

........ sometimes i just don't understand.

To tell the truth, these kids make me cry all the time.
I'm not upset because of them,
i care for these kids SO much,
and it just hurts to see them so unhappy.
it's FRUSTRATING to see
them so angry all the time.

God.... i want to stop having to HURT after your heart.
when will they taste the joy you bring?..............


Please pray for Janice:
Peace and perseverance with the children, especially as Christmas approaches.
Trust in God through this bitter season of life.
Joy for when i see myself.
Love for when i see my enemies. iron sharpens iron.
and one more...
Anticipation for my big, blank, 2008.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.
acknowledge him in all your ways and he will make your path straight.

I have a maker he calls me his own
He'll never leave me no matter where i go
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call...

I have 170 unread emails.

Call me crazy but I'm in an internet cafe at 8:30pm.
I don't usually stay out till later than 6pm because it starts getting dark not to mention dangerous.
I get to use the internet so little nowadays because my schedule's been getting bigger.
?m not even going to read this post a second time through. beware: it may be boring.

Having been here for about 4 months now, i've encountered almost every existing emotion
and tasted what seemed like hell. I can say it now because THANK GOD i've managed to
get a grip on this road. ahh.... i'm pretty confident to say that if you are reading this, there's a
good chance that i'm missing you right now.
4 month ey? In a sense it's short, in another it's long. If you were to ask me, "how's Cambodia?"
i'd think about it for a long time.... then say, "normal..." I''ve forgotten how to compare this place
to Sydney now. I don't know how i'll ever go back to coffee over $1 and a kilo of onions for
more than 40 cents. Only in Cambodia can you buy phone credit and receive 2 cans of coke
with your change. Only in Cambodia can you get away with wearing pyjamas in the city, and
only in Cambodia can you see men filing their own nails (like the one who's sitting next to me
right now). Only in Cambodia.... man i'm going to feel odd whenever i think back to this place.
I see accidents everyday. motorbikes, cars, people, animals, you name it.
Do i have friends?.... PASS.
haha no, i've met some awesome people. being on the mission field it's rare to meet anyone
less than amazing. I'm learning, I'm being challenged, and I'm being stretched. It's when I'm
plonked among unfamiliar faces and uncomfortable environments that i learn the first thing about
......loving other people. (now did that sound deep? i was hoping it might)
After spending a lot of time alone and observing my own life,
i come to think that God's love for me is simply beyond my understanding.
And the reason i haven't been posting any of my photos..... is quite lame. There are so many
I don't know which ones to choose.......... no really.
Am I eating well?....
so well, that i don't really want to go there.
Am I black?
lets just say that some of the kids whom i thought were rather dark when i first met them,
are now lighter than i am. lets not go there.
Did I get your SMS?
if you're asking me this, then probably not. i reply to all my rarely received messages.
Do I cook?
Does coffee and toast count?
Language?
Every once in a while, i have to stop in the middle of a conversation and think to myself
"what in the world are you saying?"... My Khmer, is enough to have an awkward conversation
with a child on the street. but it's a miracle! I realised that if you want to be good at this language,
it's going to cost you your dignity :)

It's been a real treat to experience first-hand God working in my life. every passing thought
He takes note of and makes sure to surprise me now and again.

There's so much to learn and experience. I just want to be well-prepared to make the most of it.

the word of this year so far, would have to be something along the lines of LOVE.

Cambodia D-DAY

...speechless

it's currently 5am, and i've finally made it to the day of my departure.
despite my tiredness and life-threatening need for sleep, i felt an urge
in my guts to come on and say this.

THANK YOU to every person who's donated from $1 to hundreds.
Through financial and prayer support, i was able to meet a faithful God,
a BIG God, and a good God.
He will use every dollar and every cent to impact a single life in Cambodia.
And on behalf of that nation, i will say thank you.

so, how am i feeling?
to put it bluntly, i'm all excited, nervous and scared mushed into one.
please continue to pray for me partners.
You guys are my life support.

See you soon :)

Cambodia D-3

It's quite creepy to think that this time next week,
i'll have been in another country for 4 days.
So already i'm feeling like things are coming
to a close for me here in Sydney. (shrugs)
Maybe it's because i'm finally saying goodbyes
to friends and family. Speaking of which, my
relatives came over to have dinner at ours tonight.
A lot of family! And this is just of my mum's side too.

I think my haraboji is so cute... He's so kind...
"JINNY YA! i brought you a present"  
and i dig into an over-filled plastic bag to find...
bars and bars and more bars of soap! hehe
considering the water in Cambodia makes you
feel DIRTIER once you've showered in it, (ew)
i'm rather grateful for the gift.

//sister sonia, cousin kara, me janice, cousin chris, and brother sean :) 



here's a photo of dj taking a photo of janice
who's taking a photo of dj. some time ago
before i worked at gelatissimo.



And here we have a few traffic lights lazing in the sun.
(i almost had an accident taking this shot)